BEDDING — Inside the Home

Kids Gigi

Tips for Preparing a Toddler for a New Sibling

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

No matter what age your first child is when you decide to have #2, the change and adjustment for #1 can be a big deal--especially if they are a toddler. Kayla Beth will be 3 1/2 years old when her brother Kyle is born in April of this year. She is just now starting to understand the world around her. Up until this point, our world has consisted of her being the only child who gets all of Mommy and Daddy's attention.

When we found out we were pregnant, I knew there would come a point that we would have to introduce the idea of a new baby to Kayla Beth. Now she doesn't fully understand the concept of a baby brother. And to be honest, she really wasn't too interested until my belly got bigger. But, that didn't stop me from talking about it with her. I soon realized while she has warmed up to this idea, at least what she understand of it. I know it will be a big adjustment for her. That adjustment won't happen until he is actually here. So, in the meantime, I have compiled a list of suggestions from my experiences and various other mommy sources about preparing my toddler for the arrival of a new sibling.

1. Use terms they understand. ~Kids don't understand big scientific terms like 'fetus' and 'development'. All they know is Mommy is changing and her belly is getting big. But what does that mean? Use words they know and can understand. For Kayla Beth, some of our dialogues went like this:

Me: Baby Kyle is in mommy's belly.
Kayla: Why?
Me: Well, Baby Kyle is cooking in mommy's belly.
Kayla: Can he come out and play?
Me: Not right now.
Kayla: Why?
Me: Well, he is sleeping and growing and kicking so he can get big.

(A few days later, talking about Baby Kyle) Kayla says to me, "Kyle is really busy in there. He is sleeping and kicking. Is he done cooking yet?"

Communication and dialogue will be the basis of helping your little one cope with the new arrival and changes to come with having a second child.

2. Personify the Concept.~A growing belly is hard to ignore. But for a toddler, a growing belly has no concept of what is coming from the growing belly. Try naming or nicknaming the baby to help your little one visualize what it means that 'a baby is coming'. By this age they understand that people have names. Important people in their lives have names. From the moment we knew we were having a boy, we had a name picked out. This has helped Kayla Beth attach more of a meaning to Mommy having a baby. Not everyone finds out right away or has a name picked out, but using a cute (gender neutral) nickname for your toddler to use.

3. Keep them involved and make it fun.~A lot is happening around you when you are preparing for a new baby--preparation of the nursery, buying new clothes, a growing belly, etc. A toddler sees all of this happening. Get them involved! I had Kayla Beth go through all of her toys and pick out the ones she wanted to share with Baby Kyle. Setting up the bed, we let her help (or at least watch). I consigned all of her baby clothes that I had saved so that I could start a wardrobe for Baby Kyle. Kayla Beth helped with the laundry, tried to fold, and ultimately was very excited about giving her stuff away to get clothes for Baby Kyle. We talk about all the ways she will help be a big sister. This way she felt good about doing stuff for Baby Kyle.

Make the process fun and make it about how your toddler is helping to bring this new baby home.

4. Find a good book that they can relate to about being a 'big sister/brother' or having a 'baby brother/sister'. Read it often. ~Reading helps toddlers explore the world outside of their immediate environment. It takes them to new places. I have found it to work great for Kayla Beth to have a book that she can relate to having a baby brother. There are many great books about this topic for toddlers (and older kids, too). We chose "Brand New Baby Blues". We read it 2-3 times a week. We talk about the pictures. We talk about how the big sister feels when baby brother comes home. Then, we talk about all the things that baby brothers can do with us when they get bigger.

5. Count the days until new baby is born.~Take a standard wall calendar, mark your due date on the calendar, and work with your toddler marking off each day referencing often the date when the baby will be here. As you get closer, start counting the days. This is a great suggestion I got from our doctor in our 3rd trimester. It helps a toddler see the timeline for your new baby's arrival and really anticipate it.

6. Gift for the baby from 'big sister/brother'.~Of course everyone will be buying the baby new gifts. Take some time to go shopping with your little one specifically for a gift from 'big sister/brother'. A special gift from your little one to your new addition is just another way to keep your toddler involved and excited.

If your little one is too young or just not into shopping, don't force it. Maybe pick out a special gift and talk with your toddler about this one specific gift asking if they want to give it to their 'little brother/sister'. Making this moment special for you and your toddler.

7. 'Big Sister' or 'Big Brother' gift.~While everyone else is making over your new addition to the family, don't forget your toddler. They are not used to having the attention from grandparents and others on someone else. Plus, they have waited in anticipation for this big moment for a long time. They are excited. But don't let them get pushed aside. Keep them involved, and take a moment to give them a special 'big brother/sister' token of your affection. Perhaps something that will signify the time they became a 'big brother/sister'.

There are a lot of changes as your family grows. For Kayla Beth, I have found the best behavior comes when she feels prepared for a situation (whether flying to see Gigi, driving 8 hours to see Nana, or just going into a store on a restless day). Toddlers are absorbing the world around them at a rapid pace. They may not understand everything. But if you give them some direction and encouragement they can adjust and adapt to these new and exciting changes in your family's life with some ease.

Until next time,

About the Author

As a full-time working mom with a home based business on the side, juggling life, family, and work makes life interesting. I work with an amazing group of successful women at home, and draw many inspirations from them. It has been the best decision for me and my family. I love helping other reach their goals the same way!

Any decorating ideas for paris, poodle themed room?

I am redoing my daughters room to be a "big girl" room. I have the Gigi bedding from Bombay Kids. I also have the simply shabby chic furniture from Target. I am looking for ideas on what to use to accessorize. Also, ideas for things to put in the glass show case of her armoire. Help!!

paris, poodle themed room decorating ideas

http://girlsthemebedrooms.com/parisian/French-style-oohlala-decorating-ideas.html

The Kids - Gigi Walking

Tags: blind, blog, bombay kids gigi, bombay kids gigi bedding, bombay kids gigi collection, bombay kids gigi craigslist, children, kids, toddler

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 at 7:42 pm and is filed under bedding. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.